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    nigol
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    « in the moment | Main | what we do »
    Thursday
    31Jul

    An open letter to my husband

    A woman who feels desired is many things:
    She is less likely to reach frustration with
    you
    or the children
    or the cat
    or the dog.
    She is more likely to feel like an important part of
    your life
    and the home you share
    and the children you created together.
    She is more likely to look at her own body
    and instead of feeling disgust at the way it has changed
    since bringing your children into the world,
    she is more likely to remember the feel of
    your hands on her hips
    or trailing down her spine
    or the way that you pull her in
    and fit her perfectly into the spaces of your own form.
    A woman who feels desired
    is so much easier to sit across the table from
    as she is less likely to be judging
    her own skin
    her own curves
    her own worth
    her place in the bed that you share.
    She is more likely to care for the body she has been given,
    feed it good, whole foods
    put it to frequent use in the garden
    enjoy the pull of muscle
    and increasing strength
    as she carries ever-growing children
    and becomes more confident with household repairs.
    A woman who feels desired will rear children
    who see their bodies as perfect works of art
    that should be celebrated
    respected
    and capable of love.

    It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.
    It does not require
    expensive jewelery
    exotic flowers
    pages of poems
    romantic dates
    or even dramatic words.
    You can tell a woman you desire her
    with nothing more than a look
    a simple touch
    a well placed word
    and by listening to what she's saying
    and then responding appropriately.

    Without those simple things
    even a strong woman may start to feel
    less.
    And less leads to
    depression
    self loathing
    anger
    frustration
    bad parenting
    and a marriage
    that may not last the next five years.

    So when your wife asks you,
    "Do you find me sexy?"
    the answer should never be
    a long pause
    followed by a apologetic
    "I just love you."

    Lie to me
    if you have to,
    but tell me "yes"
    and then watch
    as my confidence continues
    to bloom
    and my heart stays open
    even when the world
    is throwing us curve balls.
    Because sometimes,
    a woman needs to know she is desired
    or she'll start to believe
    it is no longer true.


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